Who Am I?

Hey Guys :)

Being born and raised in the beautiful South of Styria, and possessing an Austrian passport technically means that I am Austrian. Nevertheless, I never called myself Austrian. My parents were refugees of the Bosnian War when they came to Austria in 1992. That means that I am Bosnian, but somehow, I do not consider myself an fully Bosnian as well. So, who am I? A question, I often asked myself and others my entire life. The answers to my question did not simplify anything, on the contrary, they even increased my confusion:

Austrians used to call me names such as Jugo or Kanake, which are used to insult people of former Yugoslavian origin. Actually, many people do not know that Jugo is rather a common expression, than a swear word in those Southern countries. Jug means South in Bosnian, Croatian or Serbian. Therefore means Jugo: The man of the South. Whatever.

Opinions of  Bosnians, even of some of my family members, did not make it easier for me to understand who I really am. They used to call me Švabo because they have always considered me an Austrian, rather than a Bosnian. Švabo means Schwabe in German and Swabian in English. Swabian is a historical and political expression for people from a certain geographical part of Germany. People from former Yugoslavia erroneously use this word for both, Austrians and German people, and, apparently, for me!

But that is still not all: For reasons of history and religion, Serbs, for instance, call me Balija. This term used to describe descendants of Turks of the Ottoman Empire in the Balkans. In most cases, this word is used in a derogatory way.

Turks in turn, at least a number of them, do not consider Bosnians one of them. Perhaps this is because of the language. Although Bosnian, Croatian and Serbian contain a huge number of Turkish elements in their languages, they are still Slavic. That means, that Bosnians who never learned Turkish only understand a few words. Additionally, just like many Arabic people, some Turkish people do not regard Bosnians as being real Muslims, because they do not seem as strict as Turkish people do. - Believe me, they are! At least some of them. I think that every country has its firm believers, regardless of what religion!  

Finally, after a long time of asking who I really am and getting these answers, I decided to consider myself all of that what people called me. I am a Jugo, a Švabo, a Balija and even more! I am an open-minded girl who does not judge anyone because of his belief or nationality. I love travelling. I have been to Asia, Africa, North America and many countries in Europe before. I loved it everywhere and I want to explore even more!

In conclusion, who cares where you are from? It is about who you are. And Guess what! Now I know who I am! ;)

Hmmm… quite kitschy ending, isn’t it? whatever :D

Good Bye